15 



NO PLAYS £XCHANGCD. 

^AMCK'5 Edition 
m or Pl7\y.3 ^ 



^^ 



Money in the Movies 



Price, 25 Cents 



J1. 01. Pinero's Plays 

Price^ SO Kents 6acl> 



THF AMA7nN^ Farce in Three Acta. Seven males, five' fe- 
lIlEi /\lTiA£<v/liiJ males. Costumes, modern; scenery, not 
difficult. Plays a full evening. 

THE CABINET MINISTER SX, 'nJr&^li. ^S 

tumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

HANDY Hlf If ^^^^^ ^^ Three Acts. Seven males, four fe- 
1/Aili/l LflVf^ males. Costumes, iidodern ; scenery, two inte- 
riors. Plays two hours and a half. 

Till? PAY I ni?n AIT17Y Comedy in Four Acts. Four males, 
inC UAl LiUIVLF V£ULiA ten females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

IIIQ UniTQr IN nPnrP comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, 
niO ni/UOE. IIX UAUDIV four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

Till? UriRRY UriDQI? Comedy in Three Acts. Ten males, 
ini:i fll/DDl nV/A.i3D Ave females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. 

IDTC Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
•*^*«i' modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

I AHY RniTNTIPITI ^^^y ^^ ^^"^ ^^^^' Eight males, seven 
JL/il/1 DWUillirUAj females. Costumes, modern; scen- 
ery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 

I FTTY I>r3,ma in Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five 
"■i* * * females. Costumes, modern; scenery complicated. 
Plays a full evening. 

THP MAr'IQTR ATI? Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, 
*"*i lfl/\\J10 1 1\/\ 1 £i four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Walttv ?|. Pafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



Money in the Movies 

A Husky Dusky Mellow-Dramer 



By 
JAY CLAY POWERS 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1917 



Money in the Movies 



CHARACTERS 

(^i originally produced, March 24, K)!^)^ ^t The Grand Opera House, San 

Antonio y Texas, by Post D., T. P. A., Texas Di'vision, under 

the author'' s direction.) 



Billy Williams, proprietor of the 

New Goosie Hotel 
Tommy Toadvine, a bell-hop 
Little Eva, a chambermaid . 
MosE, a porter . . . 
Amos Allen, a crook 
Eloise, an octoroon 
Sam Dollinger, whose juaxiin is 

' ' Get the money " 
Pewee Cothran, Sam' s protege 
A Detective 

Two Policemen 



A Quartette of Waiters . . . \ 

Time. — The present. 

Place. — Lobby of the New Goosie Hotel. 



Tom Miller 

Harold Kay ton 

D. L. Bou7'land 

Geo. Jenner 

. P. C. Hoyer 

Chas. P. Schultz 



. Gus Withoff 

Udo Haarmann 

Geo. P. Burnett 

Max Jesse 

Frank Gittinger 

Fred Langsdorf 

B. L. Simms 

J. C. Si?nms 

Chas. Hackenjos 




Copyright, 191 7, sy Walter H. Baker & Co. 

MAR 15 1917®^''^^^^'' 



Money in the Movies 



SCENE. — Lobby of hotel. Door c. ; door r., over which is a 
sign that reads, *' Bar and Poo V ; door l., with sign over 
it that reads, ^^ Dining-rooitiy Across corner of stage at 
back R. there is a counter on which are a register and a tele- 
phone. A bench at back l. \ chairs and cuspidors at con- 
venient places. 

(^Before the curtain rises, the quartette of waiters are heard 
singing off l. They cease singing after curtaifi is well 
up. First Waiter, followed by the other three waiters, 
enters l. Discover Tommy Toadvine, seated on bench 
back L., devouring a detective story, oblivious to the sing- 
ing.) 

First W. How'd you like dat harmony, Tommy? . . . 
Tommy ! . . . Oh, shucks, dat kid's detective readiii' 
agin. 

Enter Billy Williams, r., in shirt-sleeves, billiard-cue in 
hand. 

Billy. You niggers shet up singin' ; you're givin' me bad 
luck. 

First W. Yas, suh. 

Billy. Is dinner ready ? 

First W, Yas, suh, hit am. 

Billy. Take yo' places in de dinin'-room, den. 

Waiters {severally^. Yas, suh ; yas, suh ; we'll do dat 
very thing. [Exeunt, l. 

(^Telephone bell rings.) 

Billy. Tommy, you scoundrel, answer dat 'phone ! 
Tom. Yas, siree, boss! (^ Jumps up; goes to telephone.') 
Hello, hello, hell ... It ain't out yit. Miss Eloise. 

3 



4 moneV in the movies 

. . . No, ma'am. . . . Yas, ma'am. . . . Cert'ny. 
. . . Sure ! {Hangs up.') 

Billy. Nigger-boy, whut kind ob monkey-talk is dat ? 

Tom. Hit's dat lady and gen' man in forty-fo'. Dey wants 
to see a copy ob de seben o'clock addition ob de Santo ne Light 
soon's it's out. 

Billy. Well, you clod-hoppin' toad-frog, see dat you gits 
'um one. Don't let nobody disturb me — I've got a sucker on 
de string in de pool-room dat I wants to unload on. \^Exit^ r. 

Tom. Whoebber dat sucker is, I wisht dat he'd unload on 
yo' round bullit haid with a billiard-cue. (Pause.) Dere's 
somethin' mysterious 'bout dat Miss Eloise and her uncle, Mr. 
Alien, in forty-fo'. Dey is too all -fired nerbous. Stay too 
close to deir rooms. Ring up de orffice too much. Let's see 
whut mah correspondence cose with Shilo Dub's Risin'-Moon 
Detective Agency has got to say on de subjec'. (Takes book 
from pocket ; turns pages ; reads.) Oh, here 'tis. ** Hotels. 
— When a man and a woman register at a hotel, and appear ill 
at ease, or act unnatchal in any partic'lar, den hit's safe to sur- 
mise dat dey 're not whut dey repersents demse'ves to be." 
Dat's de water in de cocoanut ! Dat nigger and his niece — if 
she is his niece — is impostures and counterfeits. I'm gona keep 
mah detective eye on 'um. (Enter Amos Allen and Eloise, 
c.) Here dey is now. 

Elo. Boy? 

Tom. Yas, Miss ? 

Elo. Take this half doUah and get me a paper soon's 
they're out. 

Tom. Yas, Miss. 

Elo. You may keep the change. 

Tom. Yas, Miss ! \Exit, c. 

(Elo. goes to door c, looks after Tom. cautiously ; then to 
door R., and to door l.) 

Elo. Sh, sh ! What's to be done, Amos ? I'm certain 
that man across the street watching this hotel is a detective. 
Amos. And, if he is, — what then ? 

Enter Tom., c, cautiously ; he conceals himself behind 
counter. 

Elo. We must rid ourselves of the money and papers. 
Amos. But how ? 



MONEY IN THE MOVIES 5 

ElO. I don't know. Throw them away — give them away 
- -anything ! 

Amos. Not much ! Eloise, listen to me. If you think I'm 
goin' to throw away ten thousand dollahs and valuable papers 
merely because you think we've been shadowed- 

Elo. I tell you, Amos, I don't merely think it — I know it. 
You got me into this — remember that. When you coaxed me 
from home, I was innocent as the driven snow. This job was 
your frame-up. I pretended to be the missin* heiress and got 
the ten thousand and the papers, but I did it as your tool — not 
of my own free will and accord. 

Amos. Calm yourself, Eloise. Ninety-nine chances out of 
a hundred we've not been shadowed at all. But if your sus- 
picion proves true, I'll ditch the money and papers on to the 
first sucker who happens along, and you and 1 will make our 
get-away. 

Elo. Oh, thank you, Amos — thank you ! 

Amos. Now you're your own brave little self again. Din- 
ner is served ; shall we sup, my charmer ? 

Elo. I'll try to be brave. I'll take a double order of '* ham 
and , ' ' if you please. \_Exeunt, l. 

Tom. {coming from behind counter). So dat's de ticket! 
Dey're crooks and has stole ten thousand dollahs from a missin' 
heiress. De Santone Light seben o'clock addition '11 gib me de 
clue to de whole sitch-um-wation, else why is dey so anxious to 
see a copy ob dat paper? (Enter Little Eva, c.^ playfully. 
She sneaks up behind ToM.) But Tommy Toad vine, local rep- 
ersentative ob Shilo Dub's Risin'-Moon Detective Agency'U 
show 'um a thing or two. 

Eva {slapping Tom. between the shoulders'). Betcher life ! 

ToM. Gee ! Little Eva, you skeered me. 

Eva. Say, Tommy ? 

Tom. Whut is it ? 

Eva. Let's play mummelly-peg. 

Tom. I ain't gona play nothin'. Can't you see I'm busy? 

Eva. No, 'tain't business, Mr. Toadvine. I've took notice 
for some time dat you keered no mo' for me. Po' little me — a 
orphan by birth — ain't good ernuff for you. Oh, mother, 
mother, why did you die? {Goes to door, r.) 

Tom. Little Eva ! 

Eva. Yis? 

Tom. One word more, befo' you ^oes out pb mah lif§ 
fo'ebb^r, 



6 MONEY IN THE MOVIES 

• Eva. Yis, yis ? 

Tom. De truf is, I expire to mount de ladder ob ambition 
and be a great detective like Shilo Dub. And I'm afeered I'd 
be unable to tote you up dat ladder with me. For de las' time 
— farewell ! 

Eva. Good-bye, cruel, cruel man. [^^//, r. 

Tom. Now dat I've successfully spurned Little Eva's inten- 
tions, I feels better. To git de clue from dat evenin' paper, 
run dem crooks to yearth, restore de missin' heiress her fortune 
and den marry her is mah next move. Ah, Shilo, things is 
comin' mah way fast. [_£xit, c. 

Enter Mose, q.., followed by Sam Dollinger, cmrying a car- 
pet-sweeper fixed lip in imitation of a motion-picture 
camera, and Pewee Cothran, carrying a suit-case in 
each hand, and a trunk tied to his back with a rope. 

MosE. Here we is, gen'min, at de New Goosie. Best hos- 
tellery in dis section catterin' to cuUud gentry only. 

Sam. It's eemense — eemense ! 

MosE. To yo' right's de bar and pool-room ; to de left 

Pew. Look a here, nigger — whut kind ob dray-hoss does 
you think I is ? Unload me, black-man, and do hit quick ! 

Sam. Assist him, Porter. 

Mose. Cert'ny, Mr. Dollinger — whutebber you say. {Un- 
loads Pew.) Does you feel easier, now? 

Pew. Hit don't make no diffunce to nobody how I feels. 

Mose. Cert'ny not; cert'ny not. 

Pew. {fiercely). Whut'sdat? Whut's dat? 

Sam. Cam yo'sef, Pewee; c'am yo'sef. Porter, notify de 
landlawd ob our arrival. 

Mose. Yas, suh. I spec he's in de pool-room — he mos* 
usually alius is. Whut kind ob a room does you-all want ? 

Sam. De bridal chamber. 

Mose. Yas, suh ; I'll tell 'im. \_Exit, R. 

Sam. I must remonstrate with you, Pewee 

Pew. Nigger, you'd bes' dry up while de dryin's good. 

Sam. But won't you gib me a explanation ob yo' conduct? 

Pew. I'm mighty tempted to gib you a sleepin' -powder wif 
dis here rapid-fire gun. {His fist.) Whut license did you 
hab to tell dat lop-year'd hotel porter he needn't mind to hep 
me wif dis baggage ? 

Sam. You don't understand, Pewee — you cmi't comper- 
hend — — « 



MONEY IN THE MOVIES ^ 

Pew. Yas, youse mighty fine now, but how was hit when I 
fust met you two weeks ago? Den 1 had money and you was 
broke. 1 was a travelin'-man — a T. P. A. — wif seben dollahs 
and 'leben cents in mah pocket, and dat dere sample patent 
carpet-sweeper under mah arm. 

Sam. Yas, and how many carpet-sweepers had you sold ? 
Nary a one. You let dat white man swindle you out ob 
seventy-five dollahs fi^r one measly little old sample sweeper 
and de right to take orders, and den you perceeded not to sell 
none. 

Pew. Yas, and den you come 'long and swindled me some 
mo'. You talked me out of mah las' seben dollahs and 'leben 
cents and bought dis here second-hand baggage wif hit, busted 
up mah sample sweeper and insisted on mah actin' like I was 
yo' lackey. Loaded me down perzac'ly like 1 was a pack- 
mule. 

Sam. I wouldn't let de porter hep you 'cause he'd 'a' 
know'd de baggage was empty — and on empty baggage you 
can't git de bes' room in a hotel 'thout payin' in advance. 

Pew. Nigger, will you tell me one little thing ? 

Sam. Yas. 

Pew. Ain't you done busted loose out ob a 'sylum ? 

Sam. When we went in pardners didn't you 'gree to 'low 
me to run de business to suit mahsef ? 

Pew. Yas, but you done run iiit in de ground and made a 
roustabout out'n me. How we gwine to eat ? I smells vittles 
right now. 

Sam. Jes' leave all dat to me. You'll see de unfoldin' ob 
mah secret plan in 'bout a minute and a hafe. 

Enter Billy, v.. ^ followed by Mose. 

MosE. Dat dere is de gen' man, Mr. Williams. 

Billy. I'm de pro-pri-e-tor ob de New Goosie. Was you 
lookin' for 'commodations, Mr. — Mr. 

Sam. Dollinger. Sam Dollinger, capitalist. Pd like de 
best suit ob rooms you've got. 

Billy. How long does you purpose to stay ? 

Sam. Oh, indefinitely — indefinitely. 

Billy. And yo' business is ? 

Sam. President ob de Fite-a-calf Motion Pitcher Comp'ny. 

Pew. Gawd ! 

Billy. And dat thing in yo' hand is a — a ? 

Sam. One ob our movin' pitcher cameras, to be shore, 



8 MONEY IN THE MOVIES 

Pew. Is I dreamin' ? 

Billy. Gee, I'm nutty over de movies. Eb'rybody is at 
de New Goosie. You kin hab de bridal suit for nine dollahs 
a day. 

(Billy goes behind counter ; Sam registers,') 

Pew. Nine dollahs a day ! I see our finish — defraudin' a 
inn-keeper, forty years. 

Billy. Mose, tell Little Eva to git de bridal suit ready. 

MosE. Yas, suh. \_Exifj r. 

Billy. 1 don't 'spose dere's any stock for sale in de Fite-a- 
calf Comp'ny ? 

Sam. Fru de settlemint ob a estate, dere is a little to be had 
at par. Hit's worth double. Cose I'm gona buy hit mahsef. 
Dere's money in de movies. 

Billy. I've got a thousand dollahs I'd like mighty well to 
put into somethin'. You don't play pool, does you? 

Sam. Never. 

Billy. Den 1 don't mind tellin* you — I won dat thousand 
ketchin' suckers at pool. 

Sam. You're de very man I needs in mah motion pitcher 
actor comp'ny. De fust requisite ob a heavy man — or villyun 
type ob actor — is dat he must be a good pool- player. 

Billy. I didn't know pool-playin' had anything to do with 
actin'. 

Sam. Ah, dat's 'cause you're misinformed. De handlin' 
ob a billiard cue dexterously is de bes' trainin' in de world for 
de villyun type ob actor. Makes his handlin' ob clubs, black- 
jacks and bludgeons come so natchal. If you'll 'gree to be a 
actor in mah comp'ny I'll let you hab one thousand dollahs 
worth ob stock at par, and put you on de salary list at fifty 
dollahs per week. 

Billy. Would hit interfere with mah work here ? 

Sam. Not in de least. Whut does you say ? Hit's jest a 
favor to you, you know — ^jest 'cause I've took a fancy to you. 

Billy. Here's de thousand. Count hit at yo' leisure and 
hab de stock transferred to me. 

Pew. {has listened intently). Dat nigger is a wonder ! 

Enter Mose, r. 

Mose. Little Eva'U be 'long drec'ly. I'se got to meet de 
Katy Flyer. [^Exit, Q, 



MONEY IN THE MOVIES 9 

Sam. Is dinner served ? 

Billy. Yas, suh. Jest walk right into de dinin'-room. 
I'll hab yo' baggage sent up, and den jine you. 

Sam. Mali man here alius handles de comp'ny baggage. 
Dat trunk and deni suit-cases contains over twenty thousand 
doUahs worth ob delicate motion pitcher apparatus. 

Pew. Yas, Mr. Williams, he's tellin' you right — and I 
don't mind handlin' dis baggage a-tall. 

Billy. Oh, all right. 

Sam. Since leavin' New Yavvk 

[Exit Sam, l., followed by Billy. 

Pew. New Braunfels, Sam means. Golly, dat nigger is 
some pro-mo-ter. Hit took 'im jest a minute to git a thousand 
dollahs. Hafe ob dat is mine. Let's see. Five hunderd dol- 
lahs a minute. Dat must be 'bout a billion and a hafe dollahs 
a day. {^Enter Eva, r., broom in hand and sheets over arfn.) 
Um ! whut hab we here? Whither away, little one? 

Eva. Kind suh, do not detain me, I prithee. I'm a orphan, 
and afeered ob strangers. Oh, mother ! 

Pew. Don't be afeered, I won't bite. I'm not a ordinary 
trablin' man, I ain't. 

Eva. Den whut is you ? 

Pew. I'm secertary to de pres'dent ob de Fite-a — Fite-a — 
Fite-a-cat Motion Pitcher Comp'ny. 

Eva. Oh, ain't dat grand ! I've alius wanted to be a ac- 
tress mahsef. I'd jest love to be a hero-wine. 

Pew. Um ! Um ! How much mazuraa is you got ? 

Eva. a dollah and forty cents. I saved hit fum mah 

wages as chambermaid. You know I was left a orphan 

Oh, mother ! 

Pew. Don't cry. You is de very lady we needs in our 
comp'ny. We're short a hero-wine — whutebber dat is — and de 
fust requisite ob a hero- wine is dat she must be a good cham- 
bermaid. 

Eva. I didn't know makin' up beds, and sweepin' and mop- 
pin' had anything to do with actin'. 

Pew. Ah, dat's 'cause youse misinformed. Youse got to 
know how to make up, mop up and make a clean sweep to 
make good in de movies dese days. If you'll 'gree to be a 
actor in our comp'ny I'll let you hab a dollah and forty cents* 
worth ob stock at per, and' 11 put you on de celery list at fifteen 
cents a week. Dar's money in de movies. 

Eva. Wouldn' hit conflic' wid mah wuk here ? 



10 MONEY IN THE MOVIES 

Pew. Not in the least. I'm jest doin' hit 'cause I've took 
sech a fancy to you. 

Eva (^producing money from her stocking). Here's de 
money, den, dearie. {^Gives 7tioney to Pew^.) Whut's yo' 
name, Cutie ? 

Pew. Mah name's Pewee. 

Eva. Whut a enticin' name. 

Pew. Does you Hke me, baby ? 

Eva. I think I could learn to, if you was kind to me, suh. 
Oh, moth ! 

Pew. Don't say hit ! You've made me so happy wif yo' 
dollah and — 1 means wif yo' doll and cute-like ways, dat Pm 
gona sing you a little song. (Sings parody, Waiters com- 
ing to door L. and joini?ig in chorus. Eva dances chorus 
with Pew.) Come on, chile, and hep me take dis baggage up 
to de bridal chamber. 

Eva. Yas, mah 'ittle cutie-boy. 

Pew. Chicken, youse giltin' sweeter to me eb'ry minute. 
Kiss yo' papa. 

Eva. Oh, man ! (Kisses him.) 

\They exeutit, c, with baggage. 

Enter Tom., r., with 7iewspaper. 

Tom. Did I find de clue to dat Allen's and Eloise's mys- 
terious actions? Well, I reckon. Yas, siree, boss. (Reads.) 
" Big swindle ; mysterious yaller gal 'personates missin' heiress ; 
gits away with money and valuable papers ; believed to hab 
had male confederate ; sleuths on de trail ob de pair." 

Enter Amos and Elo,, l. 

Elo. Boy, is that the paper I sent you for ? 
Tom. Yassum. 

( Gives Elo. the paper. Goes to bench l. and pretends to 
go to sleep.) 

Elo. (glancing at head-lines of paper). Amos, come here ! 
It's all up with us ! 

Amos. Don't lose your head. Run up to the room and 
keep an eye on that detective outside; I'll read the article and 
decide what's best to do. 

Elo. All right ; but remember you got nie into this. 

\^Exit, c, 



MONEY IN THE MOVIES II 

Amos. No danger of my being allowed to forget it. Let's 
see what we're up against. (Si/s ; reads pa per. ^ Hem! I 
fear the jig is up. 

Enter Sam and Billy, l. 

Billy. You're shore at de haid ob a preponderous trust, 
Mr. Dollinger, J'm jest wild to begin makin* pitchers. 

(Amos observes them, keenly, pretending to read.) 

Sam. De only thing dat's detainin' us is de lack ob actors 
and a pitcher-story. 

Billy. Is yo' camera in fust-class workin' order? 

Sam. Puffect. 

Billy. Fm jest nutty to begin. You plays yo' own leadin* 
parts, don't you ? 

Sam. Yas, to be shore. De president ob a pitcher trust 
alius plays de leadin' roles. \They exeunt, r. 

Amos {risi?ig). If worst comes to worst, I've got a scheme. 
(^Enter Elo., c, excitedly.) Well? 

Elo. Two policemen have just joined the detective. Oh, 
why did I follow you, blindly, like a fool ! 

Amos. Hush ! All is not yet lost. I have a plan. Have 
you got nerve enough left to do as I bid you ? 

Elo. Yes. I'm nearly distracted; I'll do anything you 
say. {Sees Tom.) Amos, that bell-boy ! 

Amos. He's asleep. {Enter Sam and Billy, r.) Follow 
my lead. 

Elo. I will. 

Amos. Pardon me, gentlemen ; did I understand you to say 
a moment ago that you were in need of actors and a picture- 
play? 

Billy. Yas, suh, you did. Mr. Dollinger, this is Mr. Allen 
and his niece, Miss Eloise. 

Sam. Charmed to meet you both, I'm shore. 

Elo. Thanks. 

Amos. My niece is very much infatuated with the movies. 
She aspires to become an actress. I am somewhat of a play- 
wright. 

Sam. Den we might make a deal whereby you-all could 
take some stock in mah comp'ny and be actors and play- writes. 

Amos. That would suit me on one condition. 

Sam. Name hit. 

Amos, The condition is, that we make a trial pictiire right 



12 MONEY IN THE MOVIES 

now. If this is agreeable I will subscribe for a large block of 
stock and pay the money cash down. (^Exhibits roll of bills.') 

Sam. Ob cose you know we couldn't finish de pitcher so's 
you could see hit for a few days. 

Amos. Oh, that doesn't matter. 

Sam. Den yo' proposition listens good to me. Whar's mah 
valet, Pewee ? He has de comp'ny camera. 

Bn.LY. Tommy, you triflin' scamp, git up from dar ! 

Tom. Yas, siree, boss. 

Billy. Go fetch Mr. DoUinger's man, Pewee, and de 
camera. 

Tom. Yas, suh. \^Exity c. 

Sam. Whar's de story-play ? 

Amos. In my head. As you probably know, Mr. DoUinger, 
bein' president of a first-class company yourself, the last scene 
of a movie is always the first scene made. 

Sam. Dat's right. 

Amos. The author directs the production and the president 
plays the leadin' role. 

Sam. Yas. 

Amos. Fortunately, the last scene of my play is laid in the 
lobby of a swell hotel. 

Billy. Dat's shore a coincident. 

Enter Pew., c, with camera, follotved by Tom. 

Sam. Pewee, bring de camera here, and I'll focus hit for 
you. 

Pew. {faking camera to Sam at r.). Whut you gona do 
wif hit? 

Sam (^placing camera). We're gona make a trial pitcher. 
Dis gen' man is a perspective stockholder. 

Pew. Well, de camera's in fust- class shape, Mr. Dollinger. 

Sam. Now, Pewee, when I says ''shoot," den you begin to 
crank. 

Pew. Cert'ny, Mr. Pres'dent. 

Sam. De camera's in position. Do yo' di-rectin', Mr. 
Allen. 

Amos. Very well. Mr. Dollinger has defrauded a missin' 
heiress out of ten thousand dollahs and valuable papers. Here 
are the money and papers. Put them in your pocket. (Sam 
does so.) You had a female accomplice, who has since com- 
mitted suicide. Pursued by a detective you take refuge in this 
hotel because you love the landlord's daughter. Mr, Williams 



MONEY INT THE MOVIES IJ 

will play the landlord; Eloise, the daughter; and I will play 
the detective. Eloise is seated in this chair, reading. Mr. 
Dollinger enters picture and confesses to her that he is a 
crook, that a detective is waiting for him outside, that he must 
fly at once and insists on her accompanying him. She re- 
fuses ; he seizes her ; she screams. Mr. Williams rushes in 
and struggles with Mr. Dollinger. Eloise rushes up stage and 
cries, ''Police ! " The detective — myself — rushes in and asks 
what's the matter. Mr. Dollinger confesses that he has robbed 
the missin' heiress, with the aid of an accomplice, who has 
committed suicide; and that the money and papers are in his 
inside pocket. That's all. 

Sam. Dat'll make a great scene. 

Billy. It's heroic. 

Pew. Hit's blood curdlin'. 

Amos. You actors must look straight ahead of you all the 
time, and not back at anybody who speaks to you from behind. 

Sam. Oh, I understands all ob dem things. 

Pew. Yas, he's de pres'dent and ring-tail-tooter ob de Fite- 
a-cat Comp'ny. 

Amos. All right. Places ! 

(Sam, do7vn r. ; Elo. sits in chair ; Billy, down l. ; Tom., 
behind coimter ; Pew., at earner a^ down R. ; Amos, just 
outside, c.) 

Sam. Focus de camera on de lady, Pewee. 

Pew. Focusin's mah speci^/ity. Let 'er go ! 

Sam. All right. Shoot, Pewee, shoot ! (Pew. grinds 
crank; dust flies from camera; '$)kM advances toward ^hO.) 
Eloise! 

Elo. Yes, dear, what is it ? 

Sam. I has a confession to make to you. 
' Elo. (rising). A confession? You startle me. 

Sam. I ain't whut I seem 

Pew. He shore ain't. 

Sam. a detective is outside; he's after me; I'm a crook 

Pew. Yas, he got mah seben-'leben. 

Sam. I wants you to fly with me instantly. 

Elo. Never ! I am an honest girl — a hotel-keeper's only 
daughter. I'll not fly with a law-breaker. 

Sam. You shall ! 

Elo. I will not ! 

Sam. I'll fo'ce you ! (Seizes Elo.) 



14 MONEY IN THE MOVIES 

Elo. Loose me ; loose me, I say ! 

Sam. Not much. 

Elo. Help ! Help ! {Screams.') Father, save me ! 

Billy. I will, mah dorter ! 

(^Rushes at Sam. Sam throws ^lo. from him aiid grapples 
with Billy; they wrestle. Elo. runs to back c.) 

Elo. PoHce ! Police ! Murder ! Police ! 

(Amos seizes Elo. by wrist and draivs her to door, l. ; they 
exeunt, stealthily.) 

Tom. I smells a mouse. {Fulls pistol.) Tommy Toad- 
vine's on de trail ! \_Exit, quickly, L. 
Pew. Dat bell-hop done sp'iled de pitcher. 

Enter Waiters, l. 

Waiters. Whut's up, whut's de trouble? 

Enter MosE, r. 

MOSE. Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! 

Enter Detective, c. , followed by two policemen. 

Detect. Here, here, whut's de racket ? 
Pew. Here's de shore 'nuff cops. 

( Quits grinding crank. Billy and Sam turn loose of each 
other. ) 

Detect. Whut's de row about ? 

Billy. Dis man attack-ded mah dorter and I come to her 
rescue. 

Detect. Whut hab you got to say for yo'sef, young feller ? 

Sam. De jig's up. I confesses all. Me and mah woman 
confederate is wanted for stealin' de missin' heiress's money and 
papers. 

Detect, {to policemen). Dis is a important capture. {To 
Sam.) Whar is yo* female confederate ? 

Sam. Committed suicide. I've got de money and papers 
in mah inside pocket. ( The policemen take hold of Sam's arms.) 
'Fore de Lawd, dese am real cops ! 

Detect. Whut'd you think we was? {Takes money and 
papers from '^hu^s pocket.) Here's de swag, all right. 



MONEY IN THE MOVIES " I5 

Sam. Say, is dis a joke on me ? Why — why — whar's Mr. 
Allen and Miss Eloise ? 

Pew. Dey hot-footed hit fru de dinin'-room. 

Detect. Whut's dey got to do with dis job? 

Billy. I see de whole thing, now. Allen and Eloise is real 
crooks, and dar was a real swindle. 

Detect. Cose dar was — de evenin' paper's full ob hit. 

Sam. And de real swindlers put up dis job onto me. 

Detect. But you confessed to de deed. 

Sam. 1 was jest play-actin'. I'm a movin' pitcher man. 

Detect. But dis here is de loot. 

Sam. Dat's whut I'm tryin' to tell you. I 

Detect. You'll hab to tell hit to de chief at headquarters. 

Enter Amos and Eloise, l., handcuffed together ^ followed by 
Tom. with draivn revolver. 

Pew. Here's dem two crooks, now. 

Tom. Dis is de pair whut robbed de missin' heiress ob her 
legacy. 

Detect. Yes, I recernizes dem as de parties I trailed to dis 
hotel. Ah, Tommy, you're goin' to be a great sleuth some day. 
{^To Amos.) Whut you got to say for yo'sef? 

Amos. I'm the party you want. 

Elo. So am I. I followed this man, bhndly, and — and 
have got my just deserts. {Puts handkerchief to eyes.') 

Detect. Den come erlong. 

Amos. Just a minute, officer. {To Sam.) Oh, Mr. Pic- 
ture President ? 

Sam. Whut you want ? 

Amos. Before I go to jail, I just want to tell you that I 
know the difference between a camera and a carpet-sweeper. I 
used to work for a film company. 

Billy {to Amos). Does you mean to say dat dat ain't a 
movin' pitcher camera a tall ? 

Amos. Of course it isn't, you big boob. 

Billy. Look a-here, nigger, whar's mah thousand dollahs? 

Sam {producing fnoney). Here 'tis, Mr. Williams. Me and 
Pewee was jest playin' a little joke on you. 

Pew. Mr. D0I linger, you needn't 'sinuate dat I knows any- 
thing 'bout yo' business transaction wifMr. Williams. I'm jest 
yo' man-servant — dat's all de connection I'se got wif you. 

Enter Eva, r., with broom. 



l6 MONEY IN THE MOVIES 

Detect. Heavens ! Who is dat gal ? 

Billy. One ob our chambermaids. 

Pew. And as sweet as she am fat. 

Detect. She bears a strikin' 'semblance to Little 

gal, hab you a locket 'round yo' neck ? 

Eva. Yas, here 'tis. (^Exhibits new trace-chain and pad- 
lock?) Mah dyin' mother placed dis little locket 'round raah 
neck, and whispered in mah year, " Keep dis alius, Little Eva, 
hit may be de niieans ob identifyin' you some day." Oh, 
mother, why did you die? {Sobs') 

Pew. {weeping^. How puffec'ly sad ! 

Detect. Whut's engraved on dat locket ? 

Eva. "To our darlin' Little Eva, from Mom and Pop." 

Detect. Ah, 'tis she, 'tis she! Yo' real name, young 
lady, is Eva Marie Westbrook. You're de missin' heiress in 
dis case, and dis ten thousand dollahs and dese papers belongs 
to you. {Places money and papers in Eva's ha?id!) 

Pew. Oh,- mama ! 

Billy. Congratulations, httle Miss Eva. Wouldn't you 
like to buy a hafe intrust in de New Goosie ? 

Eva. No, thank you, Mr. Williams. Mah hfe hab been 
too full ob hardships here. 

Tom. Miss Eva, won't you forgive me and take me back ? 

Eva. Never ! I ain't forgot whut you said 'bout not bein' 
able to tote me up dat ladder. Git hence ! 

{Pushes him away with broom.') 

Pew. How 'bout your cutie-boy, darlin' Eva? Ilub'dyou 
when you was obscure — befo' you become rich and famous. 

Eva. 'Tis true, 'tis true. Oh, Pewee, me and all I possess 
is thine. {Embraces Pew., and gives him money and papers.) 

Sam, Don't forgit, Pewee — we's pardners. 

Pew. Dis is a brand new deal, Sam, and you ain't in on 
hit. Unless after I gits into mah mansion I needs a valet. 
Mose, run fetch a parson ; Tommy, git de license clerk on de 
'phone ; and Mr. Williams, you put de finishin' touches to dat 
bridal chamber — 'cause me and Little Eva's gona put hit to use. 

(All sing and dance fast c lost fig chorus. ) 
CURTAIN 



JI* U3. Pincro's Plays 

Price, 50 eetite €acb 



Min PHANNFI Play in Four Acts. Six males, five females. 
iTlIi/-\xIIr\liilLiLi Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH 2S?.'^'S.^Tl 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. " 

THF PROFf inATF Playin Four Acts. Seven males, five 
lllLi I l\v/l ljlVJ.rvilj females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF ^rHOflT Mf^TRF^^ Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, 
inLi iJ\/IlWl7LilUli31I\£.iJi3 seven females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^^rlSS'^Xi 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
full evening. 

^WFFT T AVFNriFR Comedyln Three Acts. Seven males, 
OTTLiLii LiA V EillLrEiIV four females. Scene, a single interior, 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF THTTNnFRRni T comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
10£i inuni/CIVDULil nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF Tf MF^ Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
* **■-' * AlTII-ikJ Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
a full evening. 

THF WFAlfFR QFY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
1111^ T7Li/\IV£iIV OSjA. eight females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE 3^?l'i7.£,,'^^r,lmiZ. 

Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Walttv ^. Jiafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



I_1DKHKT Ul- ^^UnUh 




017 401 528 

'C|)e 5S^illtatti Wuxxm Ctittion 
of ^lajs 



AS Yftll I IITF IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
AjJ IVU JUlUJli IA females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

fAMIl 1 F Drama in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
vAailL(LiL( tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

IMAfkllAp Play in Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
flnUviUAlV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

MAKY STIIAUT Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
iTAAI\i D 1 UAIM males, and superniuneraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE S,X%'?e!XmlSs: SS^i; 

picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

RICHFI IFfl ^^*y ^° Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 



evening. 



ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a lull 



THF KIVAI S Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 



full evening. 



varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 



SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER SaS Sef 1ce.^/rv£ 

ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 



Comedy in Five 
Acts. Ten males, 



TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOD WILL 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by, 

Salter ^. %aUv & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



S. J, PARKHILL a CO., PRINTERS, BOSTON, U.S A, 



